The Case for Talking to Strangers

Kids, talk to strangers. I know, you've been told not to talk to strangers. We all were told that. When we were 5. But now we are all grown up. And as grown ups, I say we should be talking to strangers.

To me, talking to strangers has been like following the white rabbit to whatever adventures awaited me. Here are some recent examples.

While traveling back from the UK last year, I had a 5 1/2 hour layover in Amsterdam. I had never been to the Netherlands before and I wasn't about to sit in the airport when a famous city was just a 20 minute train ride away.

Making sure that I waited for the train on the correct platform, I asked a couple if they spoke English so that I could have them confirm the train schedule. The man's response was, "Speak E'glish? Focking-A! We are bloody E'glish!"  I spent my whole layover with this couple and had a blast.  Thanks to them I missed Anne Franks house in favor for joining them at the cloudy "coffeehouse." Definitely, I wouldn't have done that alone!

When picking up some out of town guests from a DC bar last summer, I started talking to a man who calls himself "The Hussy Cowboy." Yes, he's gay. Hussy Cowboy is his stage name as he sings and performs on the side. After talking to him that night, he invited me to his video release party at JR's in Dupont Circle. I went to the bar and didn't know if it was OK to laugh at this video which premiered that night. Is it a parody or serious?  You watch and decide for yourself:

Last December, I was standing around downstairs at the Wonderland Ballroom when a guy asked me where to find the stairs to the dance floor. Noticing his accent, I asked him where he was from. That lead to me dancing with him and his friend and going to another bar with them after dancing. His friend lives here in DC. She and I get along so well that we regularly see each other.  Seeing her regularly landed me on a weekly Friday-outing email list. This group does everything from happy hours, to dancing, to watching art house films. How fun to have a group of people to do this with!

This spring, I've gone out with a few people that I met on twitter. It's been fun to meet these strangers in person after a few fun exchanges online. Since their personality comes through on twitter, I already knew we would hit if off. Each time, I've had a fabulous time and enjoyed good conversation. Meeting someone new like this feels like online dating. You approach the stranger/acquaintance and awkwardly ask, "Are you ....?" Hahaha, how many times have I looked like a lesbian on a blind date?

So you see, boys and girls, talking to strangers broadens your circle of friends, exposes you to new experiences, and just gets you out of your bubble. The moral of this story is to "Do as I say and do as I do."

Fuck Idealism

I had dinner with some hippies.

Typically, you think of DC as a city of politicians, lobbyists, and all the human infrastructure needed to support the political machine. Activists might work here, but we tend to think of them as polished, TV-ready, suit-wearing office workers. I mean, wasn't the Occupy DC crowd bussed in from other cities?

My dinner companions all live together in a group house in DC. If you have ever stayed at a hostel, then you already know what it's like to constantly have people around. It's kind of like a college dorm...with even the bathroom being shared by 7 people. These people are intelligent. They have high wage potential. But they choose to continue to live communally as a lifestyle choice.

They are granola, crunchy hippies. They dress like they are ready to go hiking at a moment's notice. The girls don't wear makeup. Boys take as many supplements as the girls and have mastered vegetarian cooking. A pot of biodegradable trash sits in a pot waiting to be added to the compost pile outside. Each week they host meditation classes. They are uber friendly and open to any strange practice...like homeschooling.

Each has an unusual story to tell. There was the young perky couple who met while working as Peace Corps volunteers in western Africa. A high school film teacher also juggles professionally on the side. Each weekend, he juggles at the farmer's market where his sister sells vegetables from her farm. My friend works at a Smithsonian art gallery in the restoration department. Some volunteer at the community garden, and plans are set for a vegetable garden in the backyard.

Since I used to raise chickens in the suburbs, they wanted to know the specifics. How could they raise chickens in the city? With all of my land, they hoped that I grew my own vegetables. As a homeschooler, they wanted to know exactly what perspective I taught my kids.

As our discussion ranged from the plot points of Star Wars to dumpster diving for free food, I felt exhausted by their ideals. They praised a group home in the Maryland suburbs where 15 people live under one roof. In this highly organized house, everyone has a job. Most food is provided by dumpster diving. Housemates co-parented the children living there. House dinners are mandatory.

Listening to their idealistic hopes, I felt like I was in college again. It has been a long time since I discussed how to save the world. On the onset, saving the world seems like a good idea. But have you ever tried to live out any of those ideals? It's exhausting. You have to be consistent. You can't start it, let it go for a week, and then come back to it.

Now in my 30's, I have no desire to save the world. I'm too busy keeping my own tribe alive and well. Whether following the rules of a traditional religion or following a regimented life of meditation and composting, I'm tired of being told what to do. Instead of worshiping at the altar of anything else, I'd much rather worship at the altar of me.