Meeting Other Single Moms on Ok Cupid

I've met some really cool people thanks to Ok Cupid. Two new friends came from that online dating site.

Two? Two friends? You might be wondering if I'm dating two people at the same time. No, I'm not two-timing anyone. Despite what you are thinking, I ended up using Ok Cupid to find other single moms to be my friends.

Using a dating website was perfect for me. Each mom has all of her interests listed. I could see if we liked the same music, the same books, the same movies. If we had enough in common, I took the plunge and contacted them. Just like dating...except, not.

Thankfully, I didn't scare any of the women. As single moms, they have been in my situation. Those who are divorced know the pains of losing friends through the separation process. They knew why I was seeking potential friends who might understand my current situation. Our conversation might have gone something like this:

"Hi, I know you didn't list yourself as gay or bisexual, so I hope I don't weird you out by contacting you. I'm a single mom like you. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime in your free time?"


"You'll have to do a lot more than that to weird me out. What did you have in mind?"


"Just something simple like you coming over to paint my house."


"What?"


"Just kidding.  Want to meet at a central playground where our kids can play?"


With one mom, we first met with our kids for an unconventional playdate. When the kids were out of earshot, we detailed our post-marital dating experiences. Our second meeting was at a sports bar where she felt me up while teaching me to play pool. Since then, I've done some writing for her business and we keep in touch loosely on twitter, but we live too far apart to do much more.

The other mom lives practically in my neighborhood. We united over a mutual love of awesome music, live shows, dancing, her possession of a hookah, and the fact that she homeschooled her kids.  What a freakin' small world. And here I thought that only religious freaks homeschooled their kids.

The later mom and I are getting together more regularly. Over a drink, we commiserate about our exes and our kids and then wow each other with our latest outings.

With both friends, we love to tell people that we met on a dating site.  So why am I so embarrassed to tell people that I've met guys online?

Forever Alone?

With my 55 kids, I know that I'll never get married again. They already have a dad, and I can't imagine introducing a new man into their lives. Besides, what man really wants to move into a house full of kids?

Because of my situation, I have no future to offer any potential mate.  All that I can offer is now. Do you enjoy hanging with me? Do I make you laugh more than that girl over there? Can I outrun you at a zombie race?

Unlike other available girls my age, I've already done the marriage thing and am living the kid thing. I have no desire to find someone, marry, then have kids with him. I just want to have a bit of fun during my free time.

All that is left for me is dating. If a guy wants to marry, then I'm not a candidate. If he's looking for someone to live with, then I again must gracefully bow out.

It remains to be seen whether or not I'll be able take myself off of the nightmarish cycle of first dates in favor of dating just one person. Can men focus on just one girl even if she doesn't want to be married?

My Life Needs a Designated Driver

I really hate being in charge.

On the playground, I never battled to be king of the hill. Never did I want the pressure of being captain of a team only to choose the players and hurt someone's feelings when I didn't choose them. I only ran for student government because it was a resume builder without requiring any work or leadership skills.

Yet here I am in charge of my brood.  Long ago when I was in charge of my own finances, I signed and mailed in a check. Now I am learning to be careful what I enter in the bank's online bill pay forms. Twice I've paid myself instead of the utility company. Twice my services have been threatened to be cut off.

As a child, my biggest concern was finishing my homework so that I could go play.  Now I'm responsible for a whole house full of kids and their education. While homeschooling takes all day, at least I still have my nights free. I can't imagine working all day outside the home only to come home to make dinner and supervise homework all night. Whether homeschooling or supervising homework, I'm in charge of a billion kids' education and I'm terrified.

And think of this: What good is their education if they don't survive childhood long enough to use it? That's right. Their health is also my responsibility. Why did I ever complain about making doctor's appointments for just me? Now I'm resolving health insurance claims and schlepping kids around to appointments in addition to my own needs. Besides, who will watch these kids when I need to see a doctor?

Mondays are normally tough after the relief of a weekend that breaks routine. However, this Monday was unusually rough after a weekend that brought me no relief.

After today, I want to hand over the keys to a designated driver, crawl into the back seat, and sleep while the driver takes over my responsibilities.

Mig Bar

Mig Bar is becoming my neighborhood bar even though it is nowhere near my neighborhood. People living on that end of Adams Morgan don't even know how lucky they are.  The few locals that I've met there are very friendly and talkative.

There's Alex, who rides her bike to work at some artsy-fartsy place downtown. Every second Sunday she leads the regulars in a time of arts and crafts. I won't make her February art night since I have the kids this next weekend, but I hope to make the craft time next month.

Van is the bartender who looks very Soviet. With his uniform of a black fisherman's cap and neck scarf, he blends in well with the murals in the tiny bar. His love of classic black and white movies is the reason why a movie like La Dolce Vita can be seen projected on the wall.

Embarrassingly, I can't remember the bouncer's name. Each time he greets us with just as big of a smile as Alex or Van. Last time he even bypassed checking my ID  with a, "Oh, I know who you are."

One weeknight I'd like to sojourn into the city to enjoy the quiet of the mid week so that I can get to know the natives in their natural habitat.