On the playground, I never battled to be king of the hill. Never did I want the pressure of being captain of a team only to choose the players and hurt someone's feelings when I didn't choose them. I only ran for student government because it was a resume builder without requiring any work or leadership skills.
Yet here I am in charge of my brood. Long ago when I was in charge of my own finances, I signed and mailed in a check. Now I am learning to be careful what I enter in the bank's online bill pay forms. Twice I've paid myself instead of the utility company. Twice my services have been threatened to be cut off.
As a child, my biggest concern was finishing my homework so that I could go play. Now I'm responsible for a whole house full of kids and their education. While homeschooling takes all day, at least I still have my nights free. I can't imagine working all day outside the home only to come home to make dinner and supervise homework all night. Whether homeschooling or supervising homework, I'm in charge of a billion kids' education and I'm terrified.
And think of this: What good is their education if they don't survive childhood long enough to use it? That's right. Their health is also my responsibility. Why did I ever complain about making doctor's appointments for just me? Now I'm resolving health insurance claims and schlepping kids around to appointments in addition to my own needs. Besides, who will watch these kids when I need to see a doctor?
Mondays are normally tough after the relief of a weekend that breaks routine. However, this Monday was unusually rough after a weekend that brought me no relief.
After today, I want to hand over the keys to a designated driver, crawl into the back seat, and sleep while the driver takes over my responsibilities.
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