Caught Between Worlds

Yesterday's post prompted a disccusion with a friend about my situation. He said my situation reminded him of Superman's loneliness.

This really isn't far off target. (I'm examining my nails and polishing them on the shoulder of my shirt.) He's not the first to call me a super hero. When people find out I homeschool, they wonder how I can manage to be with my 64 kids all day everyday.

All acalades aside, he wasn't referring to my super human ability to maintain a household while educating my kids. He was referring to how I don't fit in any one social group. Just like the super hero who can't reveal his identity to any mortal and must always be alone, I too feel like I'm forced to hide a bit of myself with each group.

While I might have the energy of someone much younger than me who doesn't have kids, I have such a different lifestyle than they do. I don't have a career outside the home.  We don't have that in common.  I have kids to care for, so we don't normally have that in common either.  I have a limited schedule, yet another thing we don't have in common.

In fact, I get mixed reactions from people I meet when I'm out. Some are impressed that I still get out despite my responsibilities. Others squish up there face and wonder why a mother of 32 kiddos is out living it up. Or they ask why I would chose to homeschool instead of work. Their disapproval can make me feel like an under achiever who couldn't even earn a high school diploma. Staying at home with my kids doesn't always mix with the cooperate world.

But I'm single so I do enjoy the things that single people do. I like to date, go dancing, bar hop, see a concert. Unfortunately, many of the other people I might typically have things in common with aren't interested in what I like to do for fun. Or if they are interested, they may not have the energy to venture out.

As a homeschooler, I'm usually mingling with large families who talk about things I can't relate to since I don't have a husband.  Or if they invite me, the single, to something like a family game night, I feel as bored as if I were at some other kid's recital. I mean, family game nights are something I take for the team. But if I am the team, then it's pointless. Besides, if most of those families knew what I was doing with my free time, then they'd feel the need to proselytize me.

So I have a foot in my weekend world and a foot in my family world, but I'm not completely at home in either. If I'm gonna hide some of my identidy and be lonely like a super hero, I really hope I'm at least as hot as Wonder Woman.